Have you ever heard the term “you are your own worst enemy”?
I didn’t think much of this term in the past. I thought it was for those who made wrong choices that ended them in prison, but lately I have realized, it is in reference to every little decision that we make.
Have you ever had a day where one million little things seem to go wrong? Okay, one million is an exaggeration, but there are days it feels like that. And have you let the way you respond to each situation change your day? What started to be a positive and happy day, turns into a frustrated and irritating day. Did this happen due to your response choices?
As hard as I try each day to be upbeat, to wear my rose-colored glasses, and to be a positive light in this crazy world, there are days that it is a struggle. Recently, I have had a few of these days and my post today is not only to share, but to also, be a reminder to myself on how to respond when the ‘wrong’ things present themselves.
It is very important when trying to be in a good place or to stay positive that you do your best to stay aware of your mood and response to what is happening around you. Below are a few things I catch myself doing that can redirect my day from positive to negative quickly.
Don’t look at the big picture; dwell on the small stuff
Over analyze or assume
Fail to appreciate the small things
Take too much for granted
Let self-doubt take over
When you get caught in any of the above scenarios, it can create a snowball effect. When you react with the wrong emotion, it starts to trigger your brain to be in protect mode and before you know it, you are down the wrong path and your day has totally flipped. Any of the above behaviors can be your worst enemy.
The way to avoid this, is to be self-aware. It is very important to slow down and pay attention to how you react. If you focus on the small stuff or over analyze or fail to appreciate the good in a situation, even if it is something that is small, this can create a negative spiral.
Being self-aware is a daily practice. It’s taking the time to notice the small things. It’s taking the time to think before you speak. It’s taking the time to see things for what they are and to trust your inner voice in making the right decision.
I have had a habit of being defensive in certain situations or with certain people. Taking things the wrong way as if they were directed negatively towards me. When I stopped viewing life this way, it made a drastic change in my ability to be positive each day.
Below are things I did to become more aware.
Review a situation or conversation that turns out negative after it has happened. Thought about how I could respond differently.
Take a moment before I answer, via text or in person, or tell somebody I will get back with them so I have time to think of my response..
Ask questions to understand more of the other person’s thought process instead of immediately coming back with my defense response.
After a negative situation or conversation, try to find good in what happens, or to remind yourself of the good in that person.
By doing these things, it helped me to start to see things differently. I started to see things more positive from the beginning. This has allowed me to not be as defensive and to try to respond more clearly to the current situation so it does not affect the positive in my day.
I would love to say I never have issues like these anymore after become more self aware, but that is absolutely not true. As I said earlier, I have had a few days recently that I struggled with handling situations in the positive manner. This is a daily practice and challenge.
As you find the way to get out of your own way, and to keep negativity at bay, this become easier and life becomes a little more clear.
Don’t be your worst enemy! I encourage you to find your way to fight through the negativity and not let the ‘wrong’ things change your day. Stay positive and true to you.
Sending peace, love and joy to you my friend. Sam