“People who value themselves attract people who value them, too”—- Kate Northrup
I read this quote, and it really hit home with me. Since my last divorce, I have done a lot of soul searching as I have mentioned in my previous posts. It wasn’t until recently I realized that I was unaware of how I thought of myself, but my actions spoke the truth.
For most of my life, I have been a ‘people-pleaser.’ I’ve always tried to fix or help others. I’ve tried to mend arguments between family and friends, heal hurt feeling (even if they weren’t my doing), people who weren’t confident in themselves, I would try to get them to see their greatness, encouraging others, I never once thought I needed that too. I never thought I needed to help myself with my crazy, my insecurities, my self confidence, and love for me.
As you go through life, you deal with all kinds of crazy. Each of us have dealt with the crazy in our worlds such as abandonment issues from a family member, mental or physical abuse while growing up, bullying from other kids or maybe even parents or siblings... this list could go on forever. But each of these experiences has left a mark on our lives. I truly believe that each of these marks make us into the person we need to be, I am writing today because of all the crazy that has left marks on me.
Someone once told me there are four different types of people (I don’t have the fourth on the image below which are people who don’t like themselves or others).
What I have been most of my life is a GIVER. I didn’t feel I was worthy, but I could find all kinds of good in others. Typically, someone who is a GIVER ends up with a TAKER (at least that is what I have seen). This is a bad combination. The Giver ends up feeling beat up because they take on so much and do for others and never take care of themselves.
The ideal person to be is the HAPPY person. You have a balance to be able to see the good in yourself and in others. In Kate’s quote above, “People who value themselves attract people who value them too.” What kind of person are you? Who do you attract?
I've made my commitment to change, to value myself, to see the good in me, and to love who I am even with all my marks. Who will you join me?
Sending peace, love and joy to you! Sam