Are your walls built to protect your heart? Your soul? Your person? Did you leave a door? Window? Or is it solid?
I would have to say, I have become a master level masonry expert over the years. We go through ups and downs in our lives and many of us start building walls thinking we will protect us from future hurts.
How has that worked for you?
For me, not so well. For some reason, I felt that I could build the walls and control everything that happened, protect myself from all harm. I have now learned that is not how it works. Instead, I feel my walls have blocked me from living and being truly happy.
As I start to remove the walls, I am finding new relationships with some amazing people. Some people I have been around for years, but are just now starting to get to know them; others are new relationships that have just happened and are pretty exciting.
By removing your walls, you are vulnerable. The definition of Vulnerable is (adjective) susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. That sounds horrible... why would you want to take down the walls, right?
To me, I see vulnerable differently. I see it as sharing the real you, opening your heart to see the love and good in this world; new friends, old friends, family, or a stranger you bump into in an ice cream shop (use good judgement on this one). With that said, some will call me naive, maybe even tell me to take off my rose-colored glasses (love you, A), but I believe I can see more clearly with them on.
Keeping your walls up can be exhausting. I want to be free of them. Is it scary? Heck yeah! But as I have started letting people in, I feel really good. As I have started sharing more of me with others, I feel more in control than before. I feel my support group, friends and family, have made me stronger as I have started to break down my walls. Allowing myself to be more open and honest, I think, has made our relationship stronger and has helped me feel more secure.
Going back to the definition, have I opened myself up to emotional attack or harm? Maybe, but the risk to me is worth it for what I have gained. I have been able to meet some new people that have made a huge impact on my life and have helped me change my perception of my future. Tearing down my walls, has opened new doors… good doors!
If you are ready to make this change, to step outside of your walls for a fresh new view on life, try the steps below and see where it leads you.
Overcome Fear & Doubt Life is can be scary. Being vulnerable can be scary. Putting yourself out there, can be terrifying! But the reward, can be amazing. It is okay to be fearful, but don’t let that control you. I had an experience recently, I had a rush of overwhelming fear the morning of. I was going to be vulnerable, and it scared the crap out of me. That morning, i took some time to just be quiet with myself and remind myself of the good, remind myself that I should not be afraid, I should release any doubt about me and embrace the opportunity. I did and I don’t regret a moment! It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let it control you.
Release Shame and Embrace Acceptance I am imperfect; I am vulnerable; I am enough; I am worthy of love, kindness, and FORGIVENESS of my past. Release any shame that you hold on to from your life. You are where you need to be. Accept who you are and be the best you you can be, no matter your past! Release shame, trust me, it is not worth the weight to carry it around!
Let Go of Judgement & Resentment Judgement... Resentment... these two are big! Letting go can make you feel physical relief. This starts with you. Taking time to evaluate your emotions and understand where you hold judgement or resentment for yourself and/or others is critical. Slow down and be honest with yourself. As you realize where you hold these, forgive yourself for it and speak the words ‘I let go of my judgement and resentment towards _[name here]_.’ Just saying the words will help start that process. Be honest with your words and let it go.
Embrace Love This one can be the best. Open your heart! I am not just talking about a romantic love, but a genuine love for others. Maybe for a family member, let go of the judgement and resentment and see that person for the good within them. An easy way to do this, start reminding yourself of the good in someone. Write down a list of 2-3 things each day that is good about them, retrain your heart and soul to see the good and find the love for others.
These four things can help you break down your walls. Let them go and be free, they are not protecting you, they are holding you back!
Sending peace, love and joy to you my friend! Sam
P.S. I have a few available spots for coaching, if you feel you need help to break down your walls, click through to my website to learn more —www.iamsam11.com.