As Valentine’s Day 2018 comes to a close, I hope each of you felt loved today. For those who are part of a ‘couple,’ and your other half likes to spoil you and do nice things on this day, that is wonderful, and I hope you appreciate the effort and the love behind it.
Now, I have had many years in my life where it felt more like ‘Singles Awareness Day.’ (ha) And I know many people who are single, who dread this holiday (I did in the past), and then there are others who just feel it is a marketing ploy, so they boycott it (I’ve been on the recipient end of this as well).
Valentine’s Day, I felt, was just a couples romantic holiday and if you weren’t part of a ‘couple’ then the holiday could be depressing... but I want to look at it in a different way.
Today, I want to just be thankful for the love I have in my life.
My best friend is a shining example for this. She sees Valentine’s Day as a day to show her love for others, her kids, her parents, her friends (and her guy). One thing she would do during the years I have been single, she would get me a Valentine card (that would make me laugh) and take me to lunch or dinner. She wanted me to know I am loved and that I am special. As I write this, I am not sure I have ever expressed to her how wonderful this has been... thanks BFF!
How awesome is that? Instead of worrying about herself, whether or not she was lonely (she didn’t always have her guy), she wanted to show love to others. I think Valentine’s Day should be that, a day where you show love to someone else, not just a romantic purpose, but out of kindness, a true love.
At times we get caught up in the marketing of holidays or someone else's definition of how things should be, we let others affect us and manipulate us into feeling a certain way. We need to be careful and aware of this and make the day what we feel is best.
When it comes to love, a true love needs to start from within. One thing that has hit home with me is “If you do not love yourself, how do you expect someone else to love you?” I spent many years looking for someone else to validate my worthiness and let them define how I should be loved. By leaving it up to someone else, it caused me a lot of hurt and heartache (not their fault, I allowed it).
Now that I am at a place where I see me and I love me, love looks different. Things I use to be good with, in how someone treated me, is not good any more. And if I don’t find what I feel I deserve in a partner/relationship, I’m good with being alone. Each of us deserves the perfect partner for us. Someone who walks with us, encourages us, loves us for who we are, and wants to share in our life, not control it or demand too much from us. I was not clear on this until I truly found the love for me.
My hope is, when you look in the mirror, you love the person in the reflection. And as crazy as it may sound, you should tell that person that you love them. Be honest with yourself, find that true love within so others will know how to love you. You need to set the example!
Happy Valentine’s Day my friend!
Sending peace, love and joy to you!