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I was working with a client a few weeks ago, and she shared with me that she believes her soon to be ex-spouse is a narcissist. She shared she had been reading books, watching YouTube videos, a Netflix series and had joined Facebook groups talking about narcissists. She was digging in and spending many hours trying to understand narcissism, trying to find the ‘WHY is he like this’.

What I asked her was “Is the WHY that important?”

As humans, we want to understand the WHY behind the things that are happening. And in most cases, that is good. But in some cases, it keeps us stuck!

Sometimes in our search for the WHY, we get lost down a rabbit hole. Focusing on the negative that might come with the WHY for many hours of our day or even week. Maybe a negative topic or a negative behavior of someone in our life.


WHAT IF you took that time to focus on something good?

WHAT IF you took that time for internal reflection and healing?

WHAT IF you took that time to spend with people that uplift you?

WHAT IF you took that time to watch videos or listen to speakers that inspire you?

How do you think your day or week would change?

Ask yourself… Is the WHY that important? Or if you feel it is important, ask yourself “How much time do I want to spend on the WHY?”

Once you found what you need, set it aside and focus on moving forward. If you want a positive change in your life, don’t focus on the negative. There can be a lot of fun in the WHAT IF…

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